My Berlin “what not to do” is dragging on so thought I’d recap the HuRTS Beer Mile.
First ran this race last year and it was probably my running performance of 2016, finishing somewhere in the top ten and taking some big scalps including Tommy, Barts, Enda, and Darren Jordan. Also witnessed the embarrassment of Timmy making it round just before the floodlights came on. All the man does is drink beer and run so it’s weird he’s so bad at this event.
Bets with Timmy (giving him a two minute start) and Macca (me receiving a 70 second start). Timmy forgot to check last year’s times before accepting our bet, and when he did realised I’d beaten him by four minutes. Lolz. Macca claims I rorted him, because I said I ran nine minutes last year (actually around eight), but he wouldn’t tell me what he ran (around seven) so what was I to do? If he did believe me he was absolutely on the rort. It ended up being a reasonable bet based on last year’s times.
My performance last time out meant I was in the “fast” group this year and running second. Felt a bit nervous, but knew I wouldn’t be finishing last given Tom and Birchy were also in the group. Tom, incidentally, was on the rort himself, requesting a minute start despite only losing by 30 seconds last year.
Timmy was in the “slow” group and actually had me sweating when he outdid himself and finished just over ten minutes. Meant two minutes was about right and I wasn’t going to have a big buffer. Couldn’t face handing him another $20!
Lined up with the “fast” drinkers and/or runners. As well as Tom and Paul, Macca, Darren, Taffy, Justin, Eoin, Quentin, CT, Mike Killacoat (last year’s winner), and Kevin Batt (third at C2S and JPM winner) toed the line. Some running elite in there.
Jeet was on judging duties and fired the gun. First tinnie went down reasonably, but the competition was already showing their pedigree with about five guys out before me. I was out ahead of Macca and Taffy though.
Followed Victoria’s strategy from last year (easy start with burping, hard middle sector, and ease off for final 50m to catch breath) and managed to maintain the gap and not get overtaken.
Next three tinnies and laps went by in a bit of a horrible blur. Macca came past on the second lap, I think, but I always kept within at least a lap of him so knew my money was safe. Taffy also passed at the start of the fourth lap, but promptly threw his guts up (first of approx. five vomits for the Valley’s man) so he was done too.
Finished just behind Darren and Quentin, with Justin Bromley a few seconds further back. Final time was something around 7:45...so quicker than last year and enough to take a $20 from both Macca and Timmy.
A quality afternoon was topped off at Rushcutters by finishing the beers and eating pizza before retiring to O’Malleys for a million beers.
